she was so not down for the gang bang
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
