she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
