Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
