i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
