I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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