I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
