allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
