This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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