yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
