Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you had me at cake vodka
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
