im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
