they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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