i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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