false alarm. still invincible.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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