Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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