I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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