Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
