Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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