Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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