My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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