Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
