i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
