This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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