mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
