part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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