I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
