I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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