turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Shame is for Republicans.
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