FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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