I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
