are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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