Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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