remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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