I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
