I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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