dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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