I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
