tonight lets celebrate not being married
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
