Sry I called you an 8
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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