Banned from zoo.
Again?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
