More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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