i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
