yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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