It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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