Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The best revenge is premature balding
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
