Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
