my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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