its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
