and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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