I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
