I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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