we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
