I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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