i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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