Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize