Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she smelled like a LAN party
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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