1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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