Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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