Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
