this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
