he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
